NO PANTS DAY 2012 FINALLY! .. by The Man With No Pants
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Ahhh .. Life is good!
It's a great day for The Man With No Pants! Subway riders from around the country joyously paraded themselves to, from, and on the subways in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, and other great cities in our fine country in their best No Pants attire. "The Man With No Pants" takes great satisfaction in seeing his No Pants friends from around the country take the opportunity to enjoy the unique freedoms that this country offers. We’re talking life, liberty, and the pursuit of the sort of happiness that running around without britches can bring a person. The media was neither correct or clear about why people decided to go to work without pants, so let me see if I can clear that up a bit. This is my area of expertise after all. First, they were doing it to honor their king. That would be me. Second, most of them have done it before, and enjoy the unadulterated liberation that running around with no pants brings to a person. The ones who did it for the first time, found out just how good life can be without those flappy, funky pants holding em back.
The Boy With No Pants .. (Hey Silk, you there?)
I got my No Pants life moving forward early on. My mother would put a fresh diaper on me, and I would pull in off as soon as she quit looking. After diapers, I was pulling off those pants as soon as I got in the backyard. Of course after I reached a certain age, I could no longer run around butt naked from the waist down, but I wore shorts summer and winter. Then later on, as I moved up the old corporate ladder, I not only had to wear pants but I had to wear a suit and tie. I've always been very competitive, and working my way up satisfied that competitive nature of mine., however, there was always a conflict between kicking ass and taking names, and the freedom I compromised by having to wear pants. After 13 years, freedom won out, and I went into business for myself. My new business suit became Cargo shorts or tennis shorts, with Izod pullovers, and loafers. That's it folks. I don't need no stinking pants to make money. Now to be honest, it's a little easier to pull off out here in Arizona. Not everyone wears shorts here, but folks wearing suits are hard to find unless they're riding a bicycle. Oh yeah, I run 2 miles every day before working out, and I live about 15 miles north of Tucson. Folks, this is Geronimo country out here, and I'm 1/8th Apache. I run in places where white man never stood foot, and it's hard to find a tan line on me. I'm not saying I run around naked. Hell, Mike (old poolman) is my closest neighbor, and we’d never be able to look at each other the same way if he saw my bare butt, so I gotta be cool. If he was just a neighbor, I could care less, but Mike's the closest thing I've got to a brother, so I gotta show some respect ya know. Anyway, when I decided to do some writing on the Hub Pages, I needed a name that would draw some folks in despite my funky, non existent writing skills. I've got good legs for a dude, so it became a no brainer. This is starting to become a bit boring isn't it? Okay, I'll wrap it up.
You gotta know that this No Pants thing is important to me. Hell, I own the name and the domain, so obviously I'm a happy guy when there is a national day of No Pants. Finally, folks are starting to catch on. See my friends, we came into this world naked, and I think that each and every one of us would like to come as close to naked is we can come given the opportunity. Now I'm here to tell you that opportunity won't come to you, you've got to create that opportunity. Ouit laughing, and start blushing. This is your God given freedom we're dealing with here reader. Look, if the kids are at school and you’ve got the house to yourself, or what the hell? What if your spouse or inlaws are around, take those damn pants off! This is where it begins. Go ahead and leave your skivvies on. After all you're a beginner. I'm here to tell you that once you get that first layer of pants off, you'll begin to understand why those wild Indians were whooping it up on TV. They-wuz-happy yo! You never see a depressed Indian, and in fact it's hard for anyone to be in a bad mood without pants. It's true. If folks could just give up those pants, there would be a lot less fighting in this world. Hey, check this out .. If you're single and wonder if a certain person is attracted to you, no pants will eliminate the guesswork. Making love is one of the most beautiful things a man woman can do together, but what you have to do before this thing of beauty happens? Ask yourself .. Why am I wearing the damn things in the first place? I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm just saying that it's time to think outside the pants. Loin Cloths, short shorts, and Kilts are the bomb dude! This is the 21st century and baby we've outgrown our pants. I know you have to wear pants when you're outside in the winter time in many parts of this country, but when you come inside, those pants should come off right along with your coat. While I'm at it, look at all the fighting in the comments sections of these political blogs. That's a microcosm of what's happening in our country people, and I guarantee people would work better together if they wore no pants together. Although this is a bad visual, those freaks on Capitol Hill should be in shorts. I'm sure they get excited when they lie to us so it would always be obvious when they were not telling the truth. (which is most of the time) Okay, that wasn't necessary. :/
Okay I'm done. I've taken some time off from writing on the Hub Pages. If you are a follower you know that almost everything I write is political, and you have to take a break every once in a while to avoid burnout. I'll be writing some more on the elections, the economy, and more Washington stupidity, but I wanted to get this little thing out of the way first. This No Pants thing is serious business and I wanted my friends to get the dope straight from the man himself cause that's the kind of No pants friend I am folks.
Say your prayers, eat all your veggies, and tell someone they're beautiful today! tmwnp
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Jim - I. With Thomas - it's frigid here! Lol
My dad would be rolling in his grave! Lol. He didn't even want to let me wear shorts! Haha. I will be glad to eat my veggies though.
Hey - pssst...I got this notification:) lol
..damn Jim - when I'm reincarnated into a better fooking world I wanna just be like you rather than the loser that I am - in poverty row with no family and no future - and like that Who song right now I'm listening to - actually a song about your legacy at the Hub - I CAN SEE FOR MILES ......if I went for a day without my pants all of the ladies would say hey buddy put your pants back on ....lake erie wish I could drown in it
I heard about the no pants thing (in my area it was Seattle, surpisingly not Portland) and wondered if you had your hand in- bet you wish you did. I'll believe it cause you're my buddy and somehow these people were connected to you in spirit.
I personally have a big problem with no pants- my issue is I'd rather go comando. Yes, I'm OK with the pants but undies just aren't for me. It's inherited I'm sure as I've now let my daughter do the same because she constantly whines about undies so I said fine don't wear them and she's never been happier. I wear pants because it gets damn cold in the northwest, but undies are silly, lacey with the wrong material and wrong cuts, and just not for me. I once tried some panties that were said to feel like you have none on, then I thought why not just not wear any? Alright I've shared enough on this highly engaging topic. That's what I love about you...serious about all the right stuff but you know when to not take life too seriously.
Jim,
I'm happy you and your subjects are feeling the breeze and exhibiting your unrestricted behavior in good fashion. ;)
I hope you and Mike will consider to invite our Epi-Man out for a visit, get him in some warm sunshine, and don't let him near any lakes until he recovers from the idea of drowning himself.
(Epi, we love ya, pants or not pants.)
It's been chilly with rain here in Tejas the last few days. I'm thinking the locals must have rescheduled their "No Pants" celebration.
If it rolls around during warmer weather, I'll take pics. ;)
femme
Jim,
Your wanting to run naked was sharing to much information, I may be scarred for life. But izzetl's comment redeems you. LOL Ok now I am going to hear I am sexist, Hey, I am a guy I do not want to hear about pantless dudes. I am suppose to like, and do by the way, pantless ladies.
I knew you were going to like the pantless day. Good hub, up and awesome. By the way, I could not vote the beautiful link after I saw that picture of you, You just don't have the legs for it LOL, LMAO
Congratulations on your no pants holiday! I gave it some thought, and I must agree I haven't seen a depressed Indian.. LOL. This is a wonderful line of thought and no pants is a great suggestion. I too have traded the heels and panty house for lounge pants and pajamas.. Haven't made the leap to no pants.. but perhaps one day. Well done!
You're beautiful Big Bro!!
Hey, this is Florida. No excuse. I figure with the kids in this town walking around with only the hem of their boxers covered (they have lost the use of one hand). I can skip the pants all together and show off my brand new Christmas present.
Hey kid, pull your pants up! Your brains are showing.
Jim,
Even though I am perhaps the most "caucasian" man in the state of Indiana, my legs could quite possible cause snow blindness to any innocent stand-bys....I am all too eager to pull these bad boys off, all in YOUR honor!!!
jim - It's a movement. Let me drop my drawers and join the party.
The Frog
Ok, Texas is hot so it's on... Pink PJs that is, and to heck with the pants! I danced on every button you've got starting with up! That's two days in a row you have made me giggle. Thanks bunches!
Promoting Florida, and Brevard County is part of my gig. I have loved every state that I have ever lived in, and foreign countries, too. I was born in California. My Dad was career Air Force, and we moved twice a year sometimes. It's all good. I am making my stand here. I got tired of moving. I'd like to see Cali again, and India (haven't been there yet). Samoa might be more my speed.
We'll get it straight when we follow the golden rule and take off our pants.
...thanks for all of your love and support Jim - I look up to you naturally and you have always been there for me through thick and through thin - you are a true friend and a world class gentleman - and just one helluva writer .....lake erie time ontario canada 2:54pm
If you think undies are expensive for guys , geesh women's are so expensive and much less material. lol. Great job with this hub. You know I love it when you do something off of politics every once in a while.
We have food from every part of the world on one block. What do you hear, "You can't get good pizza down here." Funny, every other parlor has NY pizza painted on the window.
I hate the homogeneous look that we have settled for in our development. You could kidnap a guy from his bachelor party in Houston, drive him to Cleveland, let him out of the trunk, and he would think he was still in Houston. He would be confused, because Barnes and Noble would be on the wrong corner from Kentucky Fried Chicken. The inner cities are worse. You would be safer and happier with the rabble in Rome.
It is a shame that so many people want to leave them that way. Programs that give people a boost are called entitlements now, you can kiss them goodbye. I believe the Church in America has enough $ to take the burden from the government's shoulders. That is not our focus.
Hey Jim,
I honestly don't watch much television and am very behind on my reading (again), so I'm late to this party, darn it. But regardless, I showed up :) I gotta tell ya, I hate pants, i.e., long pants. To me they are just too damn restricting. I am a shorts and tennies kinda gurlll. I really hate the weather now since it forces me to wear long pants outside, but as soon as I get inside, it's shorts again. I don't care if it's 10 degrees outside. My family always laughs at me because seriously, I even wore shorts on Christmas day. I really need to send them a link to your hub, then they will be glad I at least have shorts on. And the underwear thing, well, I'm not even goin' there! Take care,
Sharyn
...I need to expose you to the Facebook crowd Jim so a posting to my homepage there will be my honor indeed and what better hub presentation than this one ....... goodbye Beatlemania and hello Pantsmania (without) lol lol - and yes I will take you up Bro on coming down to your piece of paradise and hanging out with you ......
lake erie time ontario canada 9:59pm just saw a good movie - a political thriller - directed by George Clooney which I would recommend to you. The Ides of March - and here I sit here with loud music (your country is complaining of the noise - lol - because I live 40 miles across the lake from Erie, Penn.)
and sending you warm wishes and good energy.
That is so friggin funny man! LMAO nice job
didn't read it, but funny as hell lol!
I can't imagine people just stripping down to their underwear that easily in public. I imagine that most people wouldn't like it and they'd get arrested for indecent exposure!
I think females should definitely stop wearing pants but I don't know about dudes.
However, I enjoyed reading your article. You have many interesting concepts. Carry on.
I am in full agreement with you, Jim - Indeed you've got good legs for a dude. And you have guts. And a mission. You are a go-getter, and you will eventually get them all... :)))
My bet is on you!
Voted up and funny, but excellent promotion of a good cause.
Dam, you are my man, man. =) Wuv ya!

























ThoughtSandwiches Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago
Jim...
Sadly...here in Reno...it's as cold in the house as it is outside...that said...I will drop the trousers come May/June/July...once warm weather remembers where Reno is!
Thanks,
Thomas
PS...good to see you back here!